Teach What You Live and Live Your Vision

By Tamela Thomas, Wellness Manager

Very few things in life occupy our thoughts with more emotional focus than our children. Your heart can ache with desire to make their life easier and you want to give them every advantage. You'd like to protect them so they don't have to make all the mistakes you did, but you know they have to find their own way.

The truth is that our children learn what we model. A strong spiritual connection, healthy food choices and good sleep habits—we are "teaching" all day long. So here come the tough questions: Are you modeling living each day with intention? Are you crystal clear about what you want? Does each decision you make reflect your goals for how you want to live your life? Very few of us can confidently answer yes to these questions, yet we would want our children to have that kind of fortification.

The old adage is true: "It's never too late to make a change." You can learn these skills at the same time as your young adult, and you can mutually support each other's efforts. Interested? Read on...

Choose to Live Intentionally

By BJ Levy, JD, MA, CPC & Jennifer Rusche, BA, PCC

"Happy New Year!"—a phrase we all say to each other this time of year. But what is your truth about how happy you feel in this moment and with your life? What will it take for you to say on January 1, 2005, "I really did have a happy 2004"?

We invite you to make only one resolution for 2004: Live your life intentionally. By intentionally, we mean discover what is most important to you and make a goal to devote time and energy to it. We mean living "from the inside out" with a clear vision and purpose, and making choices that support your priorities.

A few years ago, BJ was a Hospice volunteer working with terminally ill patients who had a prognosis of less than six months to live. What she discovered over and over again was that the diagnosis was a wake up call for the patients to put their lives in order and to do what was most important to them, moment by moment.

The truth is that we all have a terminal diagnosis—we just don't know what it is or when we will take our last breath. What we do have is the ability to live our lives fully in this moment; to wake up to what we want and what is important to us now.
How would your life be different if you were living a more intentional life; a life of deep fulfillment and joy? What would you be doing differently? What would you be celebrating?

Many strategies and models can support us in becoming more clear and purposeful in our lives. We invite you to consider implementing the following models as you experiment with your resolution this year to live intentionally.

Living from the inside out 

Our cultural norm is to live from the outside in. That means we often ask questions such as, "What do I have to do?" "What is expected of me?" "How must I behave?" Compare those questions to: "What do I choose to do?" "What do I want to do?" "What is important to me?" Which set of questions feels more empowering, more energizing and more enlivening to you?

The second set of questions has you living from the inside out; from your truth. How different does it feel to say, "I choose to do ..." versus "I have to do ..."? The only place any of us has any real power is when we live from our choices; from our internal voice of personal truth.

Even when we are unable to change the external circumstances, we are able to choose our response to those circumstances. For example, when it is a cloudy, rainy day, we can allow the weather to control our mood or we can choose to be productive, read a book, enjoy a fire, walk in the rain, talk to a friend or simply enjoy the opportunity to be. It is our choice.

A great example of an individual who lives from internal truth and power is Nelson Mandela. During his imprisonment in South Africa for 27 years, he could have succumbed to bitterness, hatred or even hopelessness. Instead, Mandela chose to maintain his dignity and feelings of self-worth. Eventually, he gained respect from every guard in the prison because he refused to be a victim or a rageful inmate. When he was finally released and became President of South Africa, he chose the power of reconciliation tribunals and empowerment rather than revenge.

Clarity/Alignment/Action 

A powerful way to live from the inside out is to first be clear about what is important to you. Once you are clear, strategize about what it will take for you to live in alignment with what is important. Who can support you? What actions will assist you? What obstacles may exist? How will you overcome them? Actions built on clear vision and aligned strategies are fueled with purpose and support you in creating the life you truly desire. Imagine how different your life would be if all of your actions were aligned with what has meaning and purpose to you. In the words of Yogi Berra: "You [have] got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going because you might not get there."

A universal principle that amplifies the power of Clarity/Alignment/Action is the IAM Model: Intention + Attention = Manifestation.

Intention is about claiming the feeling you want to experience or express when you reach a goal rather than focusing solely on the end result. Instead of saying you want to lose 10 pounds, ask yourself, "What is the experience I want to have when I am 10 pounds lighter?" Your answer could be vitality, vibrancy, freedom, joy or ease of movement. It is the experience you desire that will motivate you toward your goal.

Attention is the action and energy that you invest that aligns with your intention. In the example of wanting to lose 10 pounds, attention could look like planning for and taking steps in designing a healthier diet, changing or increasing your exercise routine, and creating systems that excite you and support your endeavor. Ask yourself what will support your goal and how will you celebrate your successes, both short- and long-term.

Manifestation is the goal itself. What is important in implementing the IAM formula is to be unattached to the form of the manifestation. You may actually lose more than 10 pounds or find that you actually feel your best when you are only 5 pounds lighter. When you pay attention to how you want to feel or what you want to experience rather than the specific form, you no longer limit your paths to success.

Absolute yes or it's a no 

What often creates a feeling of being overwhelmed and out of control is simply having too much going on, even if it all seems important. Make a of list of what you feel is most important in your life, and then make a list of where you actually spend the hours of your day. Is there a disconnection? For each of us, no matter how efficient we are, there are only 168 hours in a week. What will it take for you to spend time on what you say is a priority? Be bold. As you gain clarity from your truth as to who and what is not an "absolute yes," say "no." You will be amazed at the time and energy you can generate by removing everything that is not a resounding "yes" from your plate.

On January 1, 2005, we look forward to you saying: "2004 was an amazing year!" We want to hear about your year of living intentionally.