Values-based Living

By Tamela Thomas, Wellness Manager

Have you ever come home from a job that you love feeling stressed and frustrated as you've struggled with a personal decision? Have you ever worked for a fast-paced organization that never seemed to go anywhere? These can result from "values discord"—a situation where you have not identified, or are out of sync with, your values. The greatest leaders of our time were "values people." Take Ghandi and FDR for example, they were able to mobilize millions. From personal to organizational success, value-based decisions provide lasting power and effect great change over time.

The WAC is a "values" organization; every decision we make must meet the criteria of Leadership, Excellence, Integrity, Service and Sensitivity. The clarity of thought, speed and efficiency that comes from a value-based business can be seen in the accelerated progress made here at the WAC since the formalization and integration of its five core values in the last six years. This month's Wellness article addresses the issue of values-based living with a step-by-step process of how to effectively clarify what's truly important to you. If you find yourself in an energy-draining situation at work or in your home life, you might find some helpful information in this article.

Using Your Values as a Compass

By Jennifer Pascho, Executive and Personal Coach

As an executive and personal coach, I help people connect to what is important to them. This may seem like an easy task, but more often than not, people operate on automatic pilot and fail to see the choices and possibilities in their control. Instead, they are distracted by the busy lifestyles they have chosen—they have forgotten what is truly important to them and what they once were passionate about.  In order to step back and take stock of the choices we make, we need to develop a framework to measure how well we live our lives with intention. This framework consists of our core values and can be used as a compass for deciding whether we honor or contradict what is important to us.

Hitting close to home

In 1990 I went sky diving for my 30th birthday. My reason for attaching myself to a tandem pilot and jumping out of a plane at 12,000 feet had nothing to do with thrill seeking or a love for the sport. Instead, I jumped because I felt like I was on the treadmill of life, and this was one action that could break that stride. The jump was exciting, but in the end I missed much of the experience because I was too busy directing the amateur documentary that would forever show the transformation of my soul. I quickly learned that life isn't transformed by a quick thrill.  This lesson hit me again a few months later, while in line at Nordstrom Café. I was describing the skydive to a co-worker, when an elderly lady turned around, looked me in the eye and said with a very solemn expression "Good for you." After considering her comment and the look on her face I asked her, "If you were to do your life over again what would you do differently?" She looked beyond the walls of the café for a moment then turned to me and simply replied, "I'd let my hair down." That conversation has stayed with me. How could someone reach their later years and wish they'd lived their lives differently? Was it a simple choice or a more complex lesson to be learned?

Clarifying your values

When asked, "What are your values?" most clients initially draw a blank. The confusion stems from not knowing how to clarify and connect to what is important. Values are what you care about—what is truly important to you. Your gifts, what you stand for, what you are committed to and what truly moves you. There are several ways to become clear about what you value. Many business and self-improvement books offer an alphabetical list of values and ask the reader to check off the most important ones. This process lacks an important element: reconnecting with the stories and the emotion that bring the value to life. Checking the word "integrity" is one thing, but remembering the time when you stood up for something when everyone else ran for cover is a more powerful way of understanding what you value.

Rediscover your stories

One of the first assignments I give my clients is to list as many answers as possible to the following question: What are some of the most fulfilling things you have done in your life? The responses are snapshots into one's life, when times were good and you were truly engaged.  Within these answers lie what is important to you, or your core values. When values are extracted in this sense, they provide a sense of purpose, commitment and foundation.

Understand your turning points

Another way to clarify your values is to examine the turning points in your life. Turning points are times when something happens to give you a different perspective on life—taking a risk, the death of someone close or even dealing with your own mortality. Whatever the catalyst, what did you learn from this turning point? What suddenly became a priority to you? What aspects of your life became more trivial to you? Turning points are unique in that they provide a reality check not always obvious in our everyday life. How often have we heard the story of a person who looks at life differently after having a close call with illness or death?

Honor your gifts

Core values may be seen as the gifts each one of us possess. This is perhaps the hardest assignment because most people find it difficult to own what they are good at. By considering the gifts you want to center your life around, you are choosing to align yourself with your values. In order to discover your gifts ask yourself the following questions: What comes easy for me? What do I enjoy doing? What subjects or activities do I gravitate toward?

Your values as a compass

Understanding your core values is only the first step to living your life with intention and conviction. Once you have explored and clarified your values, it is important to use them as a framework for making decisions. When you find yourself in a situation where you are uncertain about which way to go, ask yourself a few questions: How does this situation align with my values? In what way does this situation challenge my values? What would have to change to make this situation work? Finally, when comparing this situation to my values, what is non-negotiable?

Checking your alignment

Another way to check whether you are aligned with your values is to examine all of the roles that you play in your life and ask yourself How do my values show up in this role? If "family" is one of your top values and yet your role as a spouse and parent take a backseat to the numerous boards you sit on, then you are not in line with your values.

Look beyond the obvious

Values can also be used to create a more compelling future. This may sound a bit lofty, but many times people clarify their values, then fall short by not using them to shape a vision for what they really want. To understand your core values is to be aligned with what is important to you—and, in doing so, becoming aware of what fits in with your vision for life and work.